Dear Lady In The Drive-Through Line At Starbucks,
You probably couldn’t have guessed by my messy bun and mismatched workout clothes that I’ve been having a rough day. Well, more like a rough couple of weeks. You were in front of me in line so you probably just got a glimpse of my face, if even that.
I was just in my car, living in the future and the past, on my phone, not really paying attention to my surroundings and worrying about everything going on. I was just waiting in line for my coffee.
As human beings, we go through these phases in life where a lot of shit comes up all at the same time. Life truly is a roller coaster. And not that I would trade it for anything, because being in the high parts of life are so worth going through the lows. I truly believe to the extent in which we feel pain, sorrow and all of those uncomfortable feelings is to the extent on the other end of the spectrum in which we are capable of feeling natural ecstasy, joy, peace and all of the desirable feelings we have the capacity and gift of feeling.
So, I’ve been going through some valleys lately. It’s no coincidence that things are coming up from my past that I didn’t even know were there (to heal, that I’ve never dealt with) and bumps are showing up in life synchronistically with the time in my life that I am stepping into my feminine power and potential. It’s okay. I see the beauty in it all. And in order to fulfill my life’s purpose, I must forgive, let go of and release the things that have been holding me back.
However, there’s days where I just feel hopeless. Depressed. Anxiety. Those are things I have worked SO hard to overcome and man, have I done a killer job at overcoming them. That doesn’t mean they don’t show up from time to time.
I’ve forgotten over the past few weeks, and earlier today in particular, the true essence of life and my being:
I am love. I am loved. I am supported. I am divine.
Peace comes from within. And although I have been focusing “within” — it hasn’t come from that peaceful place. It’s been coming from a place of anxiousness and random spurts of depression that have been the result of thinking of the past and future too much and not living in the only time we have, Now.
So, lady in the drive-through line, you paid for my coffee and had the Starbucks Employee relay a message to me: “Pay it forward”.
Well, when I left the line, I cried. I’ve been holding so much in that I’m usually good at expressing and letting out. So, thank you. Your small act of kindness was my tipping point to peace. You reminded me that life is about giving back to others and serving others; not focusing on “me” and all that’s wrong. In reality, nothing is really wrong at all. Everything is in perfect divine order. I had temporarily forgotten that truth, also.
I was also reminded from your small act of kindness, that actually turned into being a huge act of kindness, that I am fully loved and supported by the Universe, by my Creator, by the people in my life including my husband, my kids, my dear friends & family…
It wasn’t about the $2.24 that you paid it forward with. It was God working through you; you may not have even been aware of that, but He was surely working through you. Today, I needed a pick-me-up, and sister, you so blessed me with one.
I know you aren’t expecting anything in return, which is truly divine and beautiful, but I wish I had been paying attention and being present in line so that I could’ve remember what car you were driving so that when I pulled out could’ve sent you some energetic love and gratitude.
But it’s okay. You helped bring me back to the presence, and I am still sending you love and gratitude, whomever you are.