I’ve been that mom.
The teenage mom.
The single mom.
The teenage single mom.
The working mom.
The stay at home mom.
The SAHM during the day & work at night mom.
The married mom.
The mom everyone stared at because she didn’t look old enough to birth a child…
And as I was in deep thought (as I usually am) about this and all of the different types of “mom” I have been, I realized… it doesn’t matter.
Names & classifications don’t matter.
What I realized was that no matter what status I held as mom, I always had the same relative feelings… granted some situations sparked more intense feelings than others and were overall harder than others but at the end of the day when it all boiled down, there was just “me” desiring to provide the best upbringing for my kid, to be the best mom I could, to have someone who understood what the f*%# I was going through, to have someone to relate to & just talk to. I just want my kid to grow up as a functioning human being who does what brings him joy & gives back to humanity, who makes great choices & never loses the desire to learn and grow. It didn’t matter if I was the single teenage working mom or the married stay at home mom. Both moms just wanted the best for her baby. And both moms did the best she could, with what she had and what she knew at that given time.
My dream & vision is that instead of the SAHM’s and the working moms being against each other in comparison as to “who has the harder job” — both groups would come together on common ground and realize that, we all just want the best for our babies. Yes, the working single mom more often than not has it tougher than the SAHM because she takes the roll of provider & nurturer. And yes, the SAHM may want to pull her hair out and scream more than the working mom. But if we all just let down our judgments and say: “Wow, I give her a lot of credit for doing what she does! It’s not easy being home with three toddlers all day without a car while her husband is at work before the sun comes up and doesn’t get home until after the sun goes down” or “Wow, that mom has incredible strength… I admire that about her so much, I don’t know how she juggles a full time job & household all by herself.”
I don’t care WHAT type of mom you are (including but not limited to all types of mom from above, adoptive moms, foster moms, a family member that stands in as mom, the hard mom, the easy mom, the fun mom, the strict mom and every possible mom in between) I love you and don’t ever forget how amazing you are! It’s a beautiful and adventurous journey for us all.
So maybe next time before you criticize or judge another mom, find that common ground with her… beneath that strong demeanor is a woman who just wants the best for her kid, just like you…