We all do this…

It’s called sabotage.

It’s when you give in to that pint of Ben & Jerry’s ice-cream after a two hour, hard-core-butt-kicking work out; you’re JUST starting to see results.

It’s when you out of nowhere need a new rug, new silk pajamas, kitchen utensils, oh! and a new fall scented candle (again, that you really don’t need) after getting a raise & then end up with less money than before.

It’s also when out of nowhere you (subconsciously) manifest a car accident, broken appliance or small kitchen fire after getting a raise that brings your new income back down to exactly where it was before.

It’s when you win the lottery & somehow blow through all of the cash (and some) and unfortunately go back to being completely broke.

It’s when you get a promotion then mess it up by making a small avoidable mistake that costs you your promotion.

It’s when you are finally in a relationship with a great guy & you constantly find things to fight with him over to the point that he can’t take it anymore & ends it.

Do you get where I’m going with this?

In our minds/brains, we have these “hard-wired beliefs” — they begin to accumulate and harden from the time we are children as we are continually “conditioned” certain ways.

Let me give you a scenario: You grew up in a very modest home. Your parents’ combined income never exceeded, lets say, $45,000. Their money mentality was that they had to work really hard to make ends meet & hope nothing bad happened. They didn’t have much savings & woke up everyday praying to God a rainy day wouldn’t come their way, yet somehow a rainy day always came and wiped out the little savings they did manage to save. It’s funny because they thought they were on a great roll, yet their savings never surpassed $2,000. When you asked for a new toy or new shoes they said, “No, we can’t afford it. What do you think, money grows on trees?” or… “You have to earn those shoes! You don’t deserve them. You got C’s in school!”

Fast forward 10-20 years and you are now in the real world… you’ve achieved a nice little bachelor’s degree (and a hefty amount of debt) & you score a great position at a nearby consulting firm. You work your ASS off! I mean, you come in before everyone gets there & you leave after everyone else leaves. You go above & beyond and become one of the companies greatest assets. Your starting salary is $36,000 (with benefits, of course). You want a raise, but your too afraid to ask. Three years pass, and you FINALLY get a raise. Your income goes from $36,000 to $42,000… pretty nice! Then all of a sudden, you spend uncontrollably. Instead of living a $36,000 life like you have been for the past three years, you bump up your lifestyle to a $42,000 lifestyle. Now, it may not seem like much but you manage to get your self in some serious debt (on top of your existing school debt) because you think your new salary can handle it. Now, you can’t even afford your $36,000 lifestyle.

We all have what’s called a “financial thermostat”. If you put your air conditioning thermostat set at 72 degrees, is the temperature going to change much? No… and if it does, your thermostat’s job is to do whatever it has to do to get that temperature BACK to 72, where it is set to. Same with your mind; if your financial thermostat is set at $36,000 — you will never obtain MORE than that and if you do, because in your subconscious mind anything above that is not SAFE, your subconscious mind will find a way for you to get your income right back down to that comfortable spot of $36,000. The primary purpose and goal of your subconscious mind is to keep you safe!

Yes, it is very unfortunate. It sucks. Sometimes it makes me angry. But I have to remember this: It is only trying to protect me and keep me safe!

If you were in an abusive relationship that you were able to escape from and then jumped into a new relationship 6 months later with a person who just so happened to be a wonderful guy, truly and genuinely, you would go right into saying, “this is too good to be true!” — you may nag him like crazy, accuse him of things he never even so much as thought about. But in order for your subconscious mind to keep you from getting hurt like before, even though this guy has no intention whatsoever of ever hurting you in any way, your subconscious will step in and FIND a way to push him away.

So how do we obtain the life we truly desire without sabotaging it along the way?

One… AWARENESS! Identify your limiting belief, acknowledge it, become aware of its presence in your life and how it is playing out in your everyday life. “All men are abusive,” “I’m not worthy of making more than $36,000,” “Losing weight is too hard, I don’t deserve to get rid of all this extra weight.” (This can be a very easy process for some while others it takes some time along with some serious TLC). Lose the judgement of yourself because chances are, these beliefs are not even yours! They are beliefs you’ve taken on from the ones who raised you! Did you hear your mom speak badly about herself? Did you see her look in the mirror at herself with hateful/judgmental/disappointed eyes? You probably picked that up and there’s a high probability you have done what you saw your mother did… She did the best she could with what she had and knew at that moment. But consequently, you adopted her belief of not being good enough without either of you realizing it!

Two… what belief would you like to replace it with? Think of your belief as a file stored in your computer. You have the power to go in, delete it, and create a new file that better suits your lifestyle needs. How about, “I am deserving of a wonderful man,” “I deserve to look & feel my best,” “I love and honor myself by making loving choices for my well-being,” “I deserve  abundance.” You can have anything in this entire world and you deserve to live your best life. If one of my examples has made you feel uncomfortable then it is probably the right belief to adopt. Strive for that belief! YOU DESERVE IT!

Three… dig DEEP and RELEASE. There are many different ailments, practices, techniques, etc that can help you release old beliefs & adopt new ones into your life that will better serve you and your life’s purpose… If you stay in your comfort zone, there will not be much growth, if any at all. Dedicate yourself to GROWING by getting uncomfortable, face the demons of your past… face the hurt, the pain, the struggle, the sadness, the anger, the resentment, the hatred… allow them to come forth and cleanse them from your soul. Thank them for their presence, as they have brought things that need to be healed into your awareness and let them know (yes, talk to them and your subconscious mind) that they are no longer needed. Their purpose has been served. It is SAFE for you to move forward from them. You DESERVE to be happy and joyful. You DESERVE the life you desire.

Be courageous in facing your demons and you will live a JOYOUS and PROSPEROUS life!!!

As I develop my blog, I will begin to offer in depth practices & techniques that anyone can do. Please stay tuned if you have enjoyed what you read!

And if you have enjoyed what you read, please share my post! There is someone who needs to read this out there!

With love,

Lindsey

RAW.

I love rawness.

It’s part of who I am.

And it’s a part of the people I surround myself with.

Raw: in the natural, uncultivated, or unrefined state

I’m all over the person who’s brave enough to show their weaknesses, insecurities, their darkness, wounds, their love, their passion & gifts, their mess…

Your every demon can be a gift to the world when channeled towards the highest good of humanity.

There is NO ONE else in the world exactly like YOU; who has endured the pain that you have or traveled the road you have… and what makes it even MORE beautiful is the fact that you have learned to interpret everything you go through differently than anyone else which means even if you have gone through what someone else has gone through, you may gain completely different insight and wisdom from it than any other person… and if you use your struggles to fuel you it means you have taken responsibility for your life and have not attached to the victim (poor me) mentality. You realize that nothing has happened to you; it happens FOR you… for your highest good and evolvement.

You know that you would not be able to serve people in a certain way if you did not learn what you did from the pain, struggles, hardships, turmoil that you have gone through and came out like a damn WARRIOR QUEEN!

OWN THAT!

It’s okay to be temporarily defeated. Temporarily broke. Temporarily facing eviction. Temporarily depressed while eating pints of Ben & Jerry’s after the love of your life broke up with you. Temporarily feeling violated or abused. IT’S OKAY ladies, to have pain, to FEEL pain on such a deep level that you feel if anyone knew it would be too embarrassing. Don’t be ashamed of these low points. They are only TEMPORARY. One word of advice I have gotten from my family is “THIS TOO SHALL PASS” —

We are humans, in this life, and it is all part of the process to feel such deep emotions and feelings because those very things are the things that will help us evolve and set us on the path to greatness.

You are NOT a victim. You are a powerful being. Allow yourself to step into that.

Allow the World’s blessings to open up to you through the expansion of your SOUL…

I understand

I understand why you act the way that you do. I know that it’s nothing personal towards me.

I know that you have been wounded, deeply, by the people you’ve loved and trusted the most. I know that you have gone through tough times due to unforeseen circumstances you had little to no control over.

I understand why you are honking at me and so angry with me, a perfect stranger to you, for not using my blinker. It’s because your nephew was killed in a car accident that was caused by someone not using their blinker.

I understand why you’re being rude to me while ordering your coffee. It’s because one of my coworkers was unnecessarily rude with you yesterday when you ordered your coffee with him.

I understand why he was in a bad mood also. He just found out his wife is planning to leave him. They have a 2 month old baby together. Now can you understand why he may not have been as chipper as you expected him to be?

I understand why you’re pinching every penny & why you don’t want to pitch in for pizza & beer this Friday night. You are two weeks away from being evicted. Your friends don’t know it, because you haven’t told them; you are overwhelmed with feelings of shame. But I understand.

I understand why you smother your child with love. From an outsiders perspective, it may seem like too much and that you are overdoing it. But they don’t know you were neglected and abused as a child. You just want to give your child the love you always craved but never got.

I understand why you are being SO over protective with your child. You won’t let your child play with the other children & the other moms sit in their circle talking about you. Little do they know your child’s big brother contracted a deadly bacteria just from “playing” with other children and has a permanent disability. All you want to do is prevent something that bad from happening again. I understand.

I understand why you are breaking all of the rules, as a grown adult. It’s because you never got the love and protection you deserved as a child. You are rebellious in nature & people just don’t understand it. It’s okay, I understand.

I understand why you feel so defeated at times with your work. You are just following protocol and most people don’t agree with that protocol so they lash out at you. You’re just following directions. It’s your job and your livelihood. You’re not the one who made up those silly rules. I understand.

I understand why you don’t let people near you, emotionally. People judge you because you are so closed off to the world. Little do they know the hell of a time you went through as a teenager in high school. You close the world off as a means of protection. I understand.

This “human experience” we are all encountering is hard. It’s not easy, at all. But the beautiful part of it is that we all get to experience such a wide variety of “things,” if you will; a full spectrum and roller coaster of emotions and feelings.

To the extend of which you have felt pain, sadness, despair, anger… is to the extend to which you are able to feel joy, peace, love, bliss, magic, happiness.

One thing we are unintentionally taught from the World is that we are all separate. We are against each other because of irrelevant differences like sex, race, religion, creed. When in fact, we are not separate at all — we are all one; interconnected.

If we based our relationships on our commonalities; such as the need to be “loved” we would be more understanding of the people we are usually SO harsh on in our everyday lives; people we have not even spent 30 seconds getting to know.

Today, I challenge you (and myself) to come from a place of understanding instead of judgement.

“Why is he so closed off? Is there something I can do to help him, maybe just internally understand him. 

Don’t look down upon him for his struggles. We have all been in that same emotional place at one point or another, maybe not caused by the same circumstance & maybe not express it in the same manner but we have all definitely felt those same emotions.

Relate to that person; ignite in yourself the natural gift of compassion and use it to add some light to the world.

All you have to do is say, “I understand…”

Let me tell you something…

Let me tell you something.

Yeah, YOU. 

YOU, are not broken.

In fact, you are whole. There is nothing missing within you; not within your heart, your soul, your body, your mind, your spirit, or any other part of YOU, whoever YOU may be, for that matter…

I’m deeply sorry that we were brought up in a world that instills in its inhabitants the belief that we are not whole; that there IS in fact something missing within us, that there is this disconnectedness between us and God and each other; that we only need to be a little skinnier, prettier, thicker, smarter, younger, older, more this-er or that-er.

We’re brought up to believe that if we were ONLY more this we would have that. Or if we were only more of THAT then we could have this.

I’m not sorry to burst your bubble, my perfect human accomplice, but YOU are WHOLE. 

There is something (if not multiple things) that YOU can do better than anyone else in this entire world, with an ever-growing population of over 7.125 billion people. You were given your particular life path full of all types of experiences to bring out certain characteristics, to help you learn certain things, that bring you to the wonderful, beautiful, intricate discovery of YOU… or should I say, rediscovery of the person that was never really lost and has always existed (we’ve just been denying her).

Here’s an analogy I love to use. Lets say you are a mirror with an elegant gold (or silver, or white, or black, or platinum, really… it’s whichever you prefer) rim; a beautiful antique mirror with perfectly sculpted detail. Only one was made! There is not another anywhere in the World just as special as this one… And lets just say, this mirror became “lost” — for argument’s sake, it ended up in a forest and over time this mirror collected lots of dirt. And when it rained, this dirt turned to mud. And that mud turned hard. To where the mirror and rim no longer shined. In fact, you couldn’t tell it was a mirror at all. The mirror didn’t feel like itself. Because it just didn’t look like a mirror anymore.

And then! One day! A child came into the forest and noticed this piece of something, hidden in the dirt, she didn’t know what it was but she did know she stumbled upon something special; not something proprietary to the woods. And so every day, this little girl, who had so much hope, faith, love and excitement in her heart, began to chip away at the mud that turned to rock over the mirror and rim. When other people saw it, they said it could never be restored. The rock was TOO hard to chip away at. It would never be the same; she was wasting her time. But she was SO excited because she could begin to see something beautiful shine through…

And then one day, after lots of love and concentrated effort — the mirror was restored. Beautiful. Elegant. Special. Unique. And the mirror’s purpose was restored; to allow others to see their own beauty through every imperfection.

We, as human beings are similar to this story of the dirty mirror. We have been fed so many lies about who we really are that our light and “shininess” begins to fade away. The “dirt” piles on top of our souls and turns to mud. Our hearts harden and we put up walls. We no longer think of ourselves as special because there’s just too much “baggage” (dirt) that piles up on our shoulders and weighs us down. We are so horribly mean to ourselves by the way we speak to ourselves… we aren’t worthy because we look a certain way or we did a certain thing 15 years ago that can never be forgiven. We’re told disempowering statements by the people who raise us, our parents, teachers, babysitters, “you could never travel the world because it’s too much money” or “you could never be a model because you’re not thin enough” or “you could never be a pediatrician because we’re not smart enough.”

When you realize that these are all LIES; nothing more than DIRT that gets thrown onto your spirit without your consent — you begin to take your power back. Your true essence begins to shine through.

Clarity. Purpose. Inspiration. Love. Motivation. Importance. A calling in life…

Here’s a clue: if a certain belief you have makes you feel ANY less than GREAT, it is a LIE. It is not real. And now that you have a powerful awareness of this false belief — you also have the beautiful God-given gift of FREE-WILL. Exercise that free-will by replacing those harmful beliefs with beliefs that make you feel GREAT. EMPOWERED. LOVEABLE. LIKEABLE. POWERFUL. FAITHFUL. BEAUTIFUL. Whatver-ful you want to feel. It is yours for the taking.

Because you are WHOLE. You are Perfect.