Conscious Living vs. Autopilot

So my posts can be inconsistent at times, only because I like to write when I am feeling inspired. Sometimes that means a couple of times a week and sometimes that means once every couple of weeks. I go with where my spirit is taking me. And this one particularly is SO important… I cannot emphasize this enough. It’s the difference between a fruitful life & a lack life.

If you are okay living the life you are living now then this blog post may not be for you. But these words have been brewing in me and I feel the need to share them in hopes that they will inspire at least ONE person to choose greatness. I pass no judgment either way.

This topic is something I have been personally going through and realizing over the past few years. When I begin to forget, life throws me a tough reminder. It’s something I have been becoming more and more aware of the older I get (yes I am still young). And it took fall after fall after fall to realize what was really going on here. I had to ask myself… what did I do to get to the place where I am? This isn’t exactly where I want to be. I have this big beautiful life planned out for my family and I. This is NOT what I planned. What went wrong?

It’s the difference between conscious living and autopilot living and let me tell you, it makes a WORLD of a difference.

When we go through life on autopilot, this means that generally we are working out of ego. We all have one. It’s part of the human experience. It’s something that makes us react in ways we wouldn’t normally react, it’s where embarrassment, shame, guilt, fear, envy, defensiveness & anger stem from. It’s something that divides and separates us from humanity and separates us from our hearts and our ability to love. It divides us from others; our family & friends & husbands & wives & children.

Auto-Pilot: A cognitive state in which you act without self-awareness (Source: freedictionary.com)

KEY WORD PEOPLE: SELF-AWARENESS

If we go through life WITHOUT self-awareness we fall into the trap of generational curses, we fall into the trap of making other people rich while remaining poor and living pay check to pay check, we fall into the trap of having little control over our lives, we fall upon our fate and not create our destiny, we lose out on amazing and priceless experiences, we stay mediocre and in stagnation.

But my friends, LISTEN UP!!!!!! There is an amazingly bright BRIGHT side and you don’t want to miss this:

When you live CONSCIOUSLY, you begin to bear fruits. You will begin to reap the benefits of hard work and self-development. Hey, issues arise. All the time. They have a purpose. Their purpose is NOT to destroy. Their purpose is to create and initiate GROWTH. Issues are there to SERVE us; to serve in our HIGHEST power.

When you begin to live consciously, you take yourself away from the victim stand-point and realize that (PAY ATTENTION HERE!) nothing ever happens TO YOU, it happens FOR YOU. PLEASE read that again: NOTHING HAPPENS TO YOU, IT HAPPENS FOR YOU.

You dissect things that arise and ask yourself what the purpose is behind it. NOTHING HAPPENS FOR NOTHING. There is ALWAYS a higher purpose for your higher good, ALWAYS!!! I cannot emphasize that enough. I will put myself out there right now to prove this: IF YOU ARE HAVING AN ISSUE AND HAVING A HARD TIME FINDING THE LIGHT IN IT, PLEASE CONTACT ME. I WILL FIND THE LIGHT AND I WILL REVEAL IT TO YOU. I don’t care HOW you interpret that, but I take full responsibility for providing that for you.

When you begin to take responsibility and stop blaming life and God and the kids and your mom’s boyfriend or your 3rd grade teacher and the fish you begin to TAKE the reigns on your life. You don’t leave your life up for grabs. YOU create your destiny and not allow a dormant fate take over.

YOU ARE HERE FOR GREATNESS. YOU DESERVE GREATNESS. YOU CAN HAVE GREATNESS.

BUT it all depends on whether you choose to live consciously or you choose to live life in auto-pilot.

When you live in auto-pilot, you go about your day as you do everyday. You eat the same 3 breakfasts in rotation, you flush the toilet at the same time, you put your makeup on and shave your legs the same way. You go to work using the same route, you go to church every Sunday and sit in the same section and pray for the same things. You don’t question what anyone tells you because you believe just because they are a lawyer or a doctor or a friend or a teacher that they automatically have your best interest in mind. You don’t strive for anything more because you don’t feel like you deserve it, you feel like greatness is for selfish and greedy people and that’s not who you are. You raise your children how your parents raised you because that’s all you know. You live your life and work your marriage how your parents did because that’s all you saw. You don’t question or think that maybe, just maybe there’s a different and better way of living that you can build on. You live paycheck to paycheck and you don’t take risks.

And then there’s the conscious living life: this means you take control of your life. You don’t leave your life up to other people. You don’t let the pieces fall where they may, you place them carefully with full strategics. You read books that teach you something valuable. You reach out to people who have the success you want. You question everything the people we are supposed to trust tell us because really, only YOU know what’s best for YOU. You realize that you have all of the answers within and that’s the beauty of life and spirit. You realize that you must take FULL responsibility for the things that you experience because that’s the only way you will learn and move forward from them. You face emotions and issues that are horrifyingly painful because you KNOW in your heart of hearts that a better life lays just beyond them. You stop and think before you answer someone out of ego. You then begin to reap the benefits of your hard work. You begin to attract stronger more powerful and positive people. You begin to attract riches. You begin to attract experiences and opportunities that you would never get living in a victim mentality. You acknowledge that fear may be present but you don’t allow something fake to stop you from achieving what you want. You begin to live and create the life that YOU want and the life that YOU desire. Whether that is in a 952sq.ft apartment with your 5 person family or a 10,000sq.ft mansion alone as long as YOU chose it is what matters.

You are FAR, FAR, FAR too valuable to allow your life to fall into the hands of others. TAKE HOLD of your life and TAKE CONTROL of the reigns and CREATE YOUR DESTINY. YOU OWE IT TO YOURSELF.

Love you all.

 

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7 Powerful Tips For Parents Who Feel They Need Parenting Tips

I can remember on multiple occasions people telling me “parenting doesn’t come with a handbook”– And that statement couldn’t play out to be any more true. I’ll be the first to admit that for me being a parent is one challenge after another (not that it doesn’t pay off because it certainly does). But as they get older, it seems to just get more challenging because they find their voice, they start challenging you, they start molding into the person they are going to be, they start rationalizing and questioning certain things. And that’s an amazing thing. They come into this world with nothing but their simple needs and grow into thriving people who we can only hope have raised them as fully functioning adults who make great choices in life.

Being a mother is NOT a one-size-fits-all ordeal. Every child has his/her own unique needs and wants… from what they eat for dinner, to how they are disciplined, to how we teach them valuable life lessons, to the most effective way of potty training them and the list goes on… And with that being said, we really only have one shot so we have to have faith in our parenting ways that the way we choose is the best for our kids. We are constantly taking leaps of faith and hoping that our choices pan out positively and effectively in our children’s lives from the day we find out that baby is in our bellies. Do we breastfeed or formula feed? Do we give them meat or no meat? Do we keep them in the house to avoid getting sick or expose them to other kids to boost their immune system by getting germs? Do we use Huggies or Pampers, and if neither of those work do we use cloth diapers? Should we pick them up every time they cry or let them self-soothe? Do we tell them to run & tell the teacher when someone hits them or do we tell them to defend themselves & fight back?

I want to teach my son to eat healthy but sometimes I just feel like eating ice cream three days in a row. But I can’t eat it because if I do, he’ll question me and become concerned with me because I’ve always told him ice cream isn’t healthy for him. This past weekend we went on a small trip to the Keys and I had a frozen strawberry margarita. My son wanted to try it and I had to explain to him it’s an adult drink & he can’t have any because there’s alcohol in it. That was literally the first time I’ve ever drank an alcoholic drink in front of him. He knew it was bad for me and asked me why I was drinking it if it’s bad for me? I told him, as I tell him with other junk foods that once in a while it’s okay as long as it’s not all the time. I know what I mean when I say that, but what’s important is how HE will interpret what I say.

I realize how important it is to stop and think before I answer my son. Every important question has a very important answer from us, no matter how little or big the question may seem. There are times that I panic and freak out and answer from the wrong place. There have been many times I have answered out of impatience or fear and for that I am so hard on myself for. I know that I can’t take back anything that I’ve done or said and kids really do, especially my 5 year old boy, take everything we say literally and to heart.

With that, here are some tips that I have been incorporating into my parenting that I have picked up along the way… there’s no such thing as a perfect parent, the best we can do for our kids is accept and love ourselves for where we are, acknowledge the things that need to be changed & do our best to change them. We must lead by example to the best of our ability and make sure we follow through with the things we say to our children and in front of them. They are watching our every move ┬áto make sure we do what we said we were going to do.

1. STOP! Before you answer your children, take a second to review your answer. Try to see your answer from THEIR perspective. How could they interpret it differently from the way you are meaning to imply it? Can you change your wording to fit their age and maturity level? Often times, we expect them to understand our adult logic & at the end of the day, they are kids & should be treated accordingly.

2. Turn the negative into a positive. If you have something harsh to say, how can it be turned into something positive?

3. Say something besides “NO”– This has been a huge one for me. I have always used the word “NO.” Now, I try to redirect my kids in another direction instead of giving them a direct “NO.” If my son asks me to go to the pool and my answer is no, I may suggest us playing cars or riding his scooter instead.

4. Instead of trying to speed them up, allow them to do things in their own time. It’s amazing what my 11 month old daughter has accomplished on her own in a safe and supportive environment. Not once did I initiate her walking. She did it all by herself. When I noticed she was wanting to walk, I then held her hand and helped her. I never pushed her or made her practice unless she initiated it. She is now walking all by herself like a champ! This also allows kids to to be themselves instead of us trying to make them into exactly who we want them to be (even though our hearts as parents are in the right place & we are just trying to protect them, this usually ends up backfiring).

5. Set your child up for success– Don’t make your child do something you know he won’t be able to accomplish. There are certain things like changing a light bulb or getting a gallon of milk from the top shelf that just aren’t suitable for certain ages to do. Instead, try small things like giving him/her the task of making his/her bed or making sure your children brush their teeth at least twice a day; things that we know they can accomplish that still remains a bit challenging will help boost their confidence and they will realize more & more how capable, strong & amazing they really are!

6. Speak positive words over your child! I’ll never forget one Sunday morning watching Joel Osteen preach about speaking words of positivity over our loved ones. Discouraging our children & telling them all of their faults like calling them fat or chubby, slow or stupid (yes I have heard parents in public use these words) is so detrimental to their wellbeing & confidence. Our words become their inner guide. Bless your kids with positive words and reaffirm to them how strong, smart & special they are.

7. Make it fun! We adults here in America have the wrong idea of “The American Dream”– As a whole, we grow up, go to school, get into debt before we reach the real world then work for a company that runs our health and spirits into the ground by using us for everything we’re worth. Then when they are done with us, they move onto the next person. All the while we are stressed and are missing out on our families and loved ones. This is NOT fun. Our kids learn from us. It’s okay to step outside of the box & try something different. Make parenting fun & laid back… I know with my son, when I make things fun he is 1000x more receptive to me than when I am really hard on him.

Disclaimer: I am FAR, FAR, FAR from a perfect parent BUT I acknowledge my faults and put effort into making myself better for my kids on a DAILY basis. These are things that have worked for ME and my children. As I write in this blog, every child is different. I don’t expect everyone to agree with what I write. I just know that these tips/tricks that I have taken on from other parents, books, professionals & experts work for me and I hope they can work for you, too!