Sometimes I am SO hard on myself. And it drives me bananas! And then I get upset because I am being so hard on myself. It’s a vicious cycle, I tell ya. Somehow I always end up focusing on my negatives… when I try so hard to focus on my positives. For this blog, I’m going to go back and forth between positives & strengths and negatives & weaknesses. They’re kind of the same, but kind of different. I promise I’ll bring it all together in the end of this blog. So I think as a whole, we are taught to focus on our strengths and to build those up. There’s nothing wrong with that at all, in fact– that’s how a lot of people become super successful and make their millions, building their strength in a specific area, whether that’s basketball, management, sales, dance… whatever it is. But in the process of building up our strengths, we ignore our weaknesses. Naturally, we don’t like others seeing our weaknesses because it makes us vulnerable, it gives another person power over us. That’s kind of scary. But what if… WHAT IF… our greatest strengths were buried in our greatest weaknesses and ALL we had to do was work through our weaknesses to get there?
I’ll use myself as a prime example. I’m a huge rebel. I hate to be told what to do, I hate following direction from others, I hate working for other people making them rich, you get the point. In my teen years throughout high school, this characteristic got me into trouble, every Friday and Saturday night. I smoked weed and I drank beer and I kissed boys. I skipped school and totaled my car (at the same time). I went to parties and lied to my parents and I got involved with drama I shouldn’t have been a part of just because I felt like it. I put myself in compromising situations for my safety but by the grace of God I was always okay.
Then I had my son. And because this rebel-ness was a part of me, I just didn’t feel right sweeping it under the doormat and pretending it wasn’t there. I tried it and it only backfired on me and made me want to rebel even more. I don’t like following the rules. It’s just the way I am. But when I had my son, my rebellious energy completely switched– I was lucky to have such control over it because I wanted to be a great mom and so the transition was easy; my desire to be a great mom trumped any desire for negative rebellion. Instead of allowing my rebel-ness to hurt me, I used it to empower myself. I used it to question the things the doctor told me and the TV told me and the news told me. I didn’t want these strangers molding my mind to their benefit. I wanted to mold my own mind by what I found that resonated and that felt right with my spirit. And so my journey really began…
Not only is it good to build on our negative traits, but our weaknesses as well. Usually, weaknesses are VERY uncomfortable for us to face. But being uncomfortable equals GROWTH. And growth means evolving into a stronger and better human being. That’s my goal at least. Being outside of my comfort zone and facing my weaknesses and not allowing them to trump me is an everyday goal for myself. One of my weaknesses? I’m afraid of judgement. So does that mean I live in a bubble and never put myself out into the world? Hell no! It means all the more reason to put myself out in the world, which is what I’m slowly doing. Whether I get rejected or denied or judged for what I do or what I say. Who cares!
I’ll never forget a lecture I listened to by the lovely & beautiful Debbie Ford. She described suppressing our weaknesses and negatives as a beach ball that we try to hold under water. Eventually, that ball is going to pop-up and hit us right in the face. Embrace ALL of you. Love ALL of you. Every single one of us embodies every single characteristic in existance. They are all part of us. Some immensely stronger than others. Some are completely dormant. But they’re all there. We all have a tendency to be selfish, to be mean, to be loving. It just depends on what we choose to focus on and the environments we are in. I’ve noticed that the more loving I am and accepting of myself, the more my life flows. I create a safe space for myself by just accepting me for me, ugly parts and all.
Have you been ridiculed for your bossy nature? I bet you would excel in a management or leadership roll if you’re not there already. I bet you are amazing at leading people in a positive way.
Have you been ridiculed for speaking up for yourself? I bet you would be an amazing activist or public speaker, speaking about child abuse or animal cruelty.
Have you been ridiculed for being too shy? Maybe you can start a blog reaching out to other shy people and create a powerful support group that enables everyone to get outside of their comfort zones.
See what I mean?
What’s a negative trait or weakness of yourself that you’ve suppressed or judged? How can you bring that to the surface? Question yourself… how can you build on it to turn it into a strength for the wellbeing of yourself and those around you? We’re ALL capable of it. Let your light shine ladies!!!!
Love you all 🙂