For a while now, I have been mentally struggling, at war with myself, as a mother, as a wife and as a woman trying to find my purpose in life. I can’t tell you how many excuses I’ve given myself or how many times I’ve justified not taking action. The fear of being judged for exposing my heart to the world. The fear that I don’t know enough or I’m not old enough. The fear that I’ll fail. Over the years, I’ve been taught that most of the time it is in our struggles that our greatest gifts reside, our greatest lessons and our biggest opportunities for growth. But through all of my down and out days, I just couldn’t pull myself out of this stagnant funk. I was so resistant (and still am some days) and I allowed that resistance to pave the way of action for my higher being. It got me absolutely nowhere. I felt hopeless, sad, irritated, depressed… I put such pressure on myself to perform and to make this huge positive impact in the world yet I was unwilling to move past the first step because I was deathly afraid of failure and judgement. So there I was… triumphed by fear & resistance. I was so stuck.
Fast forward 20 notebooks and hours of trying to build this professional grade website when I knew little to nothing compared to the pros and this random intuitive thought flutters into my perfectly imperfect mind. I was to sit down and just write. Stop everything, because everything else can wait, THIS can’t. So I did. I sat down and wrote, which is what I’m doing right now, in this post, with my baby girl climbing on me like a jungle gym pulling and pulling out my hair. But it’s okay! Because I feel like I’m onto something here… I’ve rediscovered that it’s safe to show the world my heart. I won’t be everyone’s cup of tea (a hard fact to face when I’m a total people pleaser). And that’s okay too. I need only to focus on the progress I make by the steps I take whether it’s tripping over my own feet or highly succeeding in something I pursue.
So what’s my lesson in all of this? Take action. Even if you have no idea where you’re going, just do something! And what else? The quote we’ve all heard, “Fail forward fast…” Don’t take too long to take action on a dream or your next step after a failure.
So, I’m starting here. With a powerful vision & a burning passion: to empower other mothers to follow their hearts and pursue their dreams as if their life depended on it, because really, it does.
Happy dreams, ladies 🙂